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Okay, I admit that “featuring” is really too strong a word, since Dazzler shows up silently in a series of jump cut panels showing X-men around the world fighting stuff, but still I feel the need to post about this.

Because haha, wow is this ever suggestive. Not only is there a cleavage hole with some carefully drawn in boob, which would have been silly enough, but she has a star on her crotch. A big yellow pubic star. I think the roller skates were more dignified. They were less suggestive at least. I’m hoping the line down the centre of the costume is just a sketch line, since this is a pretty tiny picture, and she doesn’t have a seam line running down the centre of the crotch-star because that would actually look even more uh, yonic? I think it’s yonic. Like phallic but with vaginas instead.

Dazzler

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Goddammit DC why do you have to be like this? A reboot means you can remake costumes and heros and villains and come up with visually interesting and creative things and you do more lingerie fetish models? But rabbit themed this time! HOW CREATIVE! And really, if you have magic or gas or whatever the hell to knock Batman out and make little purpley pink hearts in the background for you, I don’t think you need to dress up like a less classy Playboy bunny.

Finch-BatmanTDK3

I wish I cared more about Marvel’s Fear Itself so I wouldn’t have to subject myself to this. Poo.

More Flashpoint!

Maybe the weirdest reboot of all, and a pretty eventful, if obscure one.

Before:

Flashpoint Pre-Reboot

After:

Flashpoint: After

They took a part-time actor, full-time rock singer, aged him up a bunch of years, shaved his head and decided that belting out rock wasn’t good, he had to do alt rock music AND be a serious professional actor in a well done Canadian tv show? That’s pretty implausible. At least the new costuming is good.

Okay this only makes sense if you like 90s Canadian rock bands and current Canadian television. Sooooo not a lot.  Hugh Dillon was lead singer for a band called the Headstones who were totally awesome and after they broke up, he got into acting, and after a few shows and movies got a major role in a tv show called, you guessed it, Flashpoint! So yeah, I made this post because the tv show has the same name as the DCU comic event and I think it’s funny. Even if nobody else does.

Boy it’s a good thing that what appear to be Tamaran breasts are actually magetic boney hemispheres covered in a thin layer of tissue otherwise there’d be no way for that “top” to stay on, or for it to provide any amount of support whatsoever, which would be needed if Starfire had actual breast tissue.

Flashpoint: Starfire

Also, Roy appears to be wearing a trucker hat. That might be worse than what are theoretically Starfire’s clothes. At least his tattoos aren’t barbed wire.

Flashpoint: JLA!

Thanks DC, for giving me inspiration to start blogging again! How could I not with this upcoming reboot and its costume revamps?

Flashpoint: JLA

I think someone better at actual looking at society writing stuff could make a pretty sweet essay out of this. All of the men in full coverage bodysuits, Superman is showing the most male skin and that’s just hands and his face, while Wonder Woman, the only woman on the team, is going to fall out of her strapless top that leaves her shoulders and chest completely bare? There is some kind of talking point about sexualization and male gaze there. And there is a point about my searing hatred of strapless tops, the point is, they are not for crime fighting in!! Props to Jim Lee for drawing her in the same basic pose as all the dudes though, instead of her looking like she’s in a Maxim shoot while they’re all looking tough. The guys all look pretty decent, not sure how the other artists will like drawing in all the seaming lines, but I actually kind of miss Superman’s red underpants now that they are gone.

Yeah I just about had an aneurysm when I saw this. DC’s costume designers should be slapped, or made to do acrobatics in this outfit. Maybe both.

nooooooooooooo

Wow, it’s the new Harley Quinn for the new reboot post Flashpoint era! She is a a wannabe super edgey Suicide Girls inspired stripper who is unable to do anything except walk around carefully lest her top catastrophically fail. At least I hope that’s the case. If they actually expect me to see her jump and flip around in a strapless little corset that laces up the front like that and not think it is painfully stupid they are sorely mistaken. If it didn’t have the low back, maybe it would be slightly less terrible (I lie, it’d still be awful), but as it is that top will not stay up unless it is literally glued to her chest. oh and she’s only wearing low rise underwear and a belt full of bullets for her guns for bottoms. And I’m guess the boots we can just see are stilettos.

King Hammerhead Shark is rad though, he looks totally stoked to be there!  Now if the trying desperately to be edgy and hardcore girl in front of him would move, we’d have a great comic!

 

I do this sometimes. This, being vanish off the face of the internet for months at a time. Not a good strategy for keeping people interested in the silly things I have to say. And that’s why I don’t try and get a regular gig on one of the good blogs that actually are capable of updating consistently. I’m totally not, but let’s see how it goes this time around!