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Archive for the ‘poor planning’ Category

Good on Guillem March for drawing the most impressively trashy dress ever. I am actually legitimately impressed and it’s a little bit confusing for me. Catwoman is at a party and trying to get attention from notorious ladies man Bruce Wayne and apparently found the most ridiculous dress ever.  It’s like a cross between Jennifer Lopez’s infamous green dress (look it up if your’e too young to remember), and some seriously skimpy club wear. If we’re supposed to have a character going balls out (wrong metaphor I guess) sexy/trashy/attention grabbing, this is certainly a way to do it.

Super trashy!

I think I’m so amazed because I could actually see this being sold somewhere, like, it’s an actual dress with draping and detailing and all that. Not sold anywhere tasteful, but sold. And she has accessories and actual footwear with some kind of styling rather than generic stilettos. I don’t particularly like the style, and I think the inker forgot to add the bottom of the shoes under her feet but at least it’s something.  And the belt reminds me of her whip which I hope is intentional. Really my biggest problem is that I can’t imagine Catwoman wearing an outfit she can’t wear at more than a careful walking speed, unless she put a couple rolls of heavy duty double sided tape to work keeping her girls in place.

It also helps that as soon as she starts to do actual sneaky Catwoman stuff she changes into costume and her costume is actually done all the way, which is depressingly unusual, but nice to see. This may be a controversial book, and March is probably on it largely for his skill at drawing sexy ladies, but I think most issues people have are the writing and not the art.

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Welp this was a bad comic. It started off okay, and as soon as Starfire showed up it got really bad, really fast (look she’s uncaring about earth people and promiscuous whoo.) And in fact, the bad started just before she showed up.

Bra failure

Bra Failure!

This annoys me way more than it probably should but oh my god, it’s so annoying. Kenneth Rocafort on art is entirely as expected, Starfire has a stupid costume, that doesn’t make any sense we all knew that was coming. The power effects and the hair are nice, none of this is the real issue here. The big problem is Scott Lobdell has no idea how bra sizes work. The 38 refers to the band size on a woman, which is the measurement of the ribcage under the boobs. Not the enormous boobs themselves. A 38 is one of the larger sizes most stores carry, and Starfire does not look like she has a broad ribcage. Quite the opposite really, it’s tiny and bony. Lobdell was looking for cup sizes. An A cup is small, a D cup is large, Starfire is way farther into the alphabet than that. If you are making a ‘her boobs are huge’ joke, you use letters. If you are making a ‘her ribcage is huge’ joke you are a strange writer and would use numbers.

Seriously, how did nobody notice that?

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Okay, I admit that “featuring” is really too strong a word, since Dazzler shows up silently in a series of jump cut panels showing X-men around the world fighting stuff, but still I feel the need to post about this.

Because haha, wow is this ever suggestive. Not only is there a cleavage hole with some carefully drawn in boob, which would have been silly enough, but she has a star on her crotch. A big yellow pubic star. I think the roller skates were more dignified. They were less suggestive at least. I’m hoping the line down the centre of the costume is just a sketch line, since this is a pretty tiny picture, and she doesn’t have a seam line running down the centre of the crotch-star because that would actually look even more uh, yonic? I think it’s yonic. Like phallic but with vaginas instead.

Dazzler

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Boy it’s a good thing that what appear to be Tamaran breasts are actually magetic boney hemispheres covered in a thin layer of tissue otherwise there’d be no way for that “top” to stay on, or for it to provide any amount of support whatsoever, which would be needed if Starfire had actual breast tissue.

Flashpoint: Starfire

Also, Roy appears to be wearing a trucker hat. That might be worse than what are theoretically Starfire’s clothes. At least his tattoos aren’t barbed wire.

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Yeah I just about had an aneurysm when I saw this. DC’s costume designers should be slapped, or made to do acrobatics in this outfit. Maybe both.

nooooooooooooo

Wow, it’s the new Harley Quinn for the new reboot post Flashpoint era! She is a a wannabe super edgey Suicide Girls inspired stripper who is unable to do anything except walk around carefully lest her top catastrophically fail. At least I hope that’s the case. If they actually expect me to see her jump and flip around in a strapless little corset that laces up the front like that and not think it is painfully stupid they are sorely mistaken. If it didn’t have the low back, maybe it would be slightly less terrible (I lie, it’d still be awful), but as it is that top will not stay up unless it is literally glued to her chest. oh and she’s only wearing low rise underwear and a belt full of bullets for her guns for bottoms. And I’m guess the boots we can just see are stilettos.

King Hammerhead Shark is rad though, he looks totally stoked to be there!  Now if the trying desperately to be edgy and hardcore girl in front of him would move, we’d have a great comic!

 

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I do this sometimes. This, being vanish off the face of the internet for months at a time. Not a good strategy for keeping people interested in the silly things I have to say. And that’s why I don’t try and get a regular gig on one of the good blogs that actually are capable of updating consistently. I’m totally not, but let’s see how it goes this time around!

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Let me make myself clear. I love Chris Bachalo’s artwork. Some people find his work too over the top, or hard to follow, but I really like how stylized and dynamic it is. And when you have really stylized art, you get a lot more leeway when it comes to ridiculous costumes and outfits. The more your art looks like real actual people, and the more grounded in reality the writing is, the less wiggle room you have before stuff starts looking silly. And his art is pretty far from reality, so a lot of things I would find stupid on other artists with a more realistic style, I will totally give a pass to for Bachalo.

Click for bigClick for big

And yet, if anyone steps on Storm’s cape thing, there are going to be BOOBS EVERYWHERE. Janet Jackson will have nothing on this wardrobe malfunction (I know this is like 4 years too late for this joke,) and Storm is going to electrocute anyone who sees anything and it will be a terrible international incident if it happens in public, and Wolverine will probably say something crass and just make everything worse and it will not be good at all, because this is a terrible way for the dreaded anti-mutant war everyone is so worried about to begin. Embarassed electrocuting is no way to kick something like that off.

For some reason Emma’s top/cape combo doesn’t bother me half so much. I think because it doesn’t have that gap in the middle it looks more secure, and it looks like the cape might fasten over top, rather than be directly attached. And really, other than the cape part, Storm’s costume isn’ttoo bad. I had to check it wasn’t a more stylized version of an older costume, even though I was pretty sure I would have remembered it, so it definitely looks like something I think she would wear, which is always good.  And totally unrelated to Storm, Bachalo should always be on a book that has at least one badass monster in it, because man he draws some seriously badass monsters. Just, hopefully ones that don’t step on capes.

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