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Catwoman 2: Tacky!

Good on Guillem March for drawing the most impressively trashy dress ever. I am actually legitimately impressed and it’s a little bit confusing for me. Catwoman is at a party and trying to get attention from notorious ladies man Bruce Wayne and apparently found the most ridiculous dress ever.  It’s like a cross between Jennifer Lopez’s infamous green dress (look it up if your’e too young to remember), and some seriously skimpy club wear. If we’re supposed to have a character going balls out (wrong metaphor I guess) sexy/trashy/attention grabbing, this is certainly a way to do it.

Super trashy!

I think I’m so amazed because I could actually see this being sold somewhere, like, it’s an actual dress with draping and detailing and all that. Not sold anywhere tasteful, but sold. And she has accessories and actual footwear with some kind of styling rather than generic stilettos. I don’t particularly like the style, and I think the inker forgot to add the bottom of the shoes under her feet but at least it’s something.  And the belt reminds me of her whip which I hope is intentional. Really my biggest problem is that I can’t imagine Catwoman wearing an outfit she can’t wear at more than a careful walking speed, unless she put a couple rolls of heavy duty double sided tape to work keeping her girls in place.

It also helps that as soon as she starts to do actual sneaky Catwoman stuff she changes into costume and her costume is actually done all the way, which is depressingly unusual, but nice to see. This may be a controversial book, and March is probably on it largely for his skill at drawing sexy ladies, but I think most issues people have are the writing and not the art.

So, Demon Knights 2 written by Paul Cornell with artist Diogenes Neves has a new (I think) character called Exoristos in an outfit I should hate, and absolutely would in a lot of comic books. Breastplate that’d poke her in her exposed midriff if she sat down, bracers as her only other armour, and a skirt and totally bare legs to fight dragons in? Terrible ideas all of them! And yet in this very specific case, it’s totally working for me. Context is everything!

I should be mad, but I'm not!

The dragon breastplate looks kinda cool, she’s got her hair back and she’s drawn pretty beefy. That’s actually really important to me because it makes suspending my disbelief at her silly outfit way easier, she may not dress appropriately but she’s built for the beating up dragons part. And of course, it’s acknowledged that it’s not a particularly effective battle outfit twice (once followed up by a dick joke), so it’s not like the creators are going “pff yeah this is TOTALLY PRACTICAL!” like what sometimes happens and never ceases to annoy me. It helps too that while Exoristos and Madame Xanadu both have impractical outfits, the other female characters in the story are way more covered up and armoured, and nobody is wearing high heels.

Exoristos 2

Oh and of course any comic book that has the immortal Vandal Savage literally beating a dragon to death with another dragon while talking about how tasty they are does get a lot of leeway in the ridiculous department. The more over the top a comic book is, the more the costumes can get away with, and this is pretty high on the over the top meter.

Vandal

Well I’ll be damned.

A dress!

So I looked at this dress and figured the neckline, sleeves and length were all nice and it looks super comfortable and flowy and really the only think I didn’t really like was the gigantic belt, which is a little too over the top. And then I realized I was thinking about clothes in a comic book like they were real clothes that I would see in a store instead of incredibly trashy dresses or ultra-generic jeans and solid coloured t-shirt and I was really happy! It even suits Helena, it’s flattering but totally classy and she’s got a big ole bag that’s probably full of pointy dangerous stuff, she’s got a little bit of jewelery! Oh, and white framed sunglasses are everywhere right now. It’s like Marcus To and/or John Dell (not sure who was drawing what) were actually thinking about the clothes she’s wearing! hurray!!

This post could have been made a bunch of times, but for some reason I didn’t really notice it until Tim Seeley drew her in this issue. So Laurie, also known as Transonic is a new mutant who Hope helped with her crazy mutant powers and this and that, and apparently in the Marvel universe being blue means you’re not naked. Even if you’re not wearing any clothes. So I guess I’m not so much complaining about her costume as her not having a costume. The realism of the art combined with the blatantly nakedness combined with the lack of any genitalia is pretty unsettling.

Naked

See? Unsettling.  Continue Reading »

Welp this was a bad comic. It started off okay, and as soon as Starfire showed up it got really bad, really fast (look she’s uncaring about earth people and promiscuous whoo.) And in fact, the bad started just before she showed up.

Bra failure

Bra Failure!

This annoys me way more than it probably should but oh my god, it’s so annoying. Kenneth Rocafort on art is entirely as expected, Starfire has a stupid costume, that doesn’t make any sense we all knew that was coming. The power effects and the hair are nice, none of this is the real issue here. The big problem is Scott Lobdell has no idea how bra sizes work. The 38 refers to the band size on a woman, which is the measurement of the ribcage under the boobs. Not the enormous boobs themselves. A 38 is one of the larger sizes most stores carry, and Starfire does not look like she has a broad ribcage. Quite the opposite really, it’s tiny and bony. Lobdell was looking for cup sizes. An A cup is small, a D cup is large, Starfire is way farther into the alphabet than that. If you are making a ‘her boobs are huge’ joke, you use letters. If you are making a ‘her ribcage is huge’ joke you are a strange writer and would use numbers.

Seriously, how did nobody notice that?

So I was reading JLI #1 and it was okay and then I got to the big splash of all the members talking and I had an amazing realization. There are 4 female heroes on this page, and no cleavage or bare thighs or stomachs or anything like that! They’re still showing a little more skin than the guys, but not an uncomfortable amount and it’s just because of bare arms, which tend to be less ridiculously sexual and less likely to cause serious wardrobe malfunctions. And I was really happy and impressed at Aaron Lopresti or whoever came up with the designs and then I was sad because this surprised me. Ice’s fur belt thingy is a little silly looking, and I don’t particularly like the gloves on Vixen (what if she needs to claw someone!) but all in all I think this is nice to see.

I seem to recall Fire is basically naked when on fire, but it’s the same kind of naked that Johnny Storm and Iceman usually get where it just looks stupid and raises weird underwear questions if they’re still in their briefs while being all elemental and stuff.

I really don’t care about Flashpoint or Fear Itself and the new JLA issue was just Batman and GL hanging out, and I don’t mind their costumes. So yeah, no updates lately because comic events are really blah right now!

Also I was thinking, superheroing in flipflops would be about as awkward as superheroing in high heels. So to any guys out there who thing heels are a good idea, go do ninja stuff in flip flops, the cheap noisy ones I mean, not like fancy ones or anything.

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